Some people are happy only if a specific person / people in their life is happy. Their happiness is kinda remote controlled, and unfortunately, they don’t know this. Often, such happiness is family, friend, or lover dependent: an unhappy husband because of an unhappy wife; a sad friend because of his/her sad friend; a happy daughter because of a happy mother. They think it is because of an emotional bond between two people, like the assumed one between twins(if one twin falls sick, the other twin even at a distance will fall sick), however forgetting that we each have one heart per body per soul per spirit.
There are some people who are happy if and/or when people around them are happy; like when they are at a party, everybody dancing, jumping, all excited, food and drinks plenty plenty; or like when its the last day of the year and everyone is counting down to the new year – and suddenly everyone is so kind, smiling, hugging, taking pictures and wishing each other ‘Happy New Year’.
There are others who are happy only after something great or unexpected happens to them: getting a totally unexpected job offer from a company that all hope had been lost on; getting a compliment from a crush; meeting a very handsome man or an awesomely pretty lady – and the conversation with him/her just fell into the right places…from zero to hero; finding money on the floor when totally broke; receiving a gift of what they really really wanted; getting a freebie at 95% discount on some clothes, shoes / electronic gadget.
Some people are happy only if things are working out the way they want it to; when they study hard and pass an exam; they submit the first application for a job and they get hired immediately; they start a business and the first sale is a hit; they apply for a loan and they get the award without hassles; when all they want is at their beck and call, like an drive through pizza hut.
If happiness is really some or any of the above, then happiness becomes the product and/or by-product of people, places, events, tangible things, etc,. Thus, if we could only fine-tune ‘the external’ we could be happy and continuously happy for ever. This is an awful wrong conclusion. And this is the reason why some rich/affluent people are not happy; why some married people are not happy; why many single men / women are not happy; and it is the reason why suicide, suicide notes and murder is on the rise nowadays.
Happiness is none of the above.
What happens after the party is over? What happens after the compliment, after the attaining great achievements, wealth and fame? What happens after the exam is over and the certificate of success is acquired? What happens after getting hired for the first job? Or for any other job? What happens after making the first million dollars in business? What happens if the pivot of happiness breaks, dies and becomes non-existent?
Now that you have read through all of the above, please take a minute or two and answer the question: what makes you happy? when are you happy? or better still, ask yourself if your happiness is dependent on someone, some people, events, tangible things, a function of something described above.
Whatever / whichever one it is, please let me know. I would like to hear from you.